He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
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Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
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You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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