I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
