Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I think I am morally bankrupt
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
