I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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