I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
