I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
