thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
