I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
