similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
