Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
