If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
