Christians are straight up FREAKS
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
