I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
