If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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