I wanna bring you to show and tell
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
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Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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