I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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