all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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