gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
