pop tarts are not kleenex
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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