Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
