it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
