So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
