WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
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as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
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He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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