i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
