Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
