I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
