So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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