Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
