He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
