I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize