you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
