She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
