you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
