I hope mine doesn't look like that
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize