the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
You did what with his pubic hair?
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