is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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