Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
