How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Dicks are not precious.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
