yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
