I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
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I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
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GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize