dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
