i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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