Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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