Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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