i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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