Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He has the fingertips of a God
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