Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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