what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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