Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
