lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
