I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Randomize
