And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
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get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
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After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize