Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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