You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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