I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
