Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
