whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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