worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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