Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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