Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize