she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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