So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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