dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
