"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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