Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
