i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
