Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
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i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
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I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize