I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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