party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I think people are normalizing furries
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
