There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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