This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just cropdusted the office
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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