Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
