you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
