Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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