We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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