I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
