Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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